Holy Shit Balls! I made goal!

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Holy crap and great balls of fire! I made and surpassed my self-appointed goal today! I have officially lost 101.5 lbs! This means that I’ve now slipped into the next BMI range and am no longer considered obese. I merely overweight now. Which I find a little funny since everyone keeps commenting on how thin I’ve gotten.

It’s funny how the mind plays tricks on you. Even though I’ve now officially lost over 100 lbs I still don’t feel that thin, and occasionally actually feel like I haven’t lost any at all. My fluffy-girl brain has yet to catch up to my hot-momma body.  The rolls of loose skin don’t help matters either. Without support garments I kind of look like a melting candle. Though I’d much rather be the melting candle than what I was at the beginning of this journey.

Again, just have to say holy shit balls! Teehee…

Thinking about what my next goal should be I’m thinking maybe I should strive to be in the “normal” BMI range. That would be 24.9 BMI which equals 140 lbs. 26.5 more pounds. Potentially doable but may not be that fun in the journey to get there. I’d have to hunker down quite a bit more than I’m doing now, I think, to achieve that. Maybe I’ll do a smaller one to start. 10 lbs? I don’t know. I’ve been saying this entire time that any loss after 168 is just gravy, but I’m thinking I might need a goal so I don’t float aimlessly. At the same time I don’t want to set an unachievable goal, especially since my loss has slowed down significantly. Though that is probably in large part to my letting sneaky habits back in. Things to think about….

Holy shit balls!

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Dad’s 9 month post-op

So I realized that when I posted Dad’s 9 month post-op appointment results last month that I didn’t include a picture to go with it. They always say it didn’t happen if there’s no picture to document! So here it is 🙂

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He and I are both “slow losers” in comparison to some. Both of us are occasionally disappointed in the speed at which the number on the scale is going down. That’s why taking progress pictures is so important though! Even though he “only” lost 16 lbs from July to February the visual difference is very noticeable. We’ve been doing more strength training and more cardio, so we’re building more muscle. So who knows how much fat he’s actually lost compared to how much muscle he’s gained.

Speaking of exercise I’ve learned a new fancy thing in the gym from our trainer. She said she usually doesn’t teach her weight loss management group these particular exercises due to the difficulty level. She doesn’t like to set people up for possible failure and frustration. Dad and I are two of the handful of people that have been coming to the group exercise class outside of our allotted timeframe, so we’re on month 8 (I think?) when usually people only come for 3 months. Therefore occasionally she gives me a few more challenging moves to do just to mix it up.

A few of my favorite things in the gym to do have nothing to do with the machines. I love to work on the Pilates reformers, exercise ball, and the TRX (bands with hand loops, see video). All of these are a lot more versatile than you would have ever thought and give a great workout if you know more of the moves that you can do with them. Basically you’re using your own body weight with them and working on core strength a lot, though other muscles groups are obviously used as well.

I had Dad take a video of me doing two moves that I just learned on the TRX. I needed a visual reference of how high my feet were. They ended up being a bit too low so if you choose to try this at home raise up the loops a bit so you’re in a better plank position. Also I just want it known that that is not the top of my buttcrack you can see there but the tag from my pants sticking up. I’ll do another video later on the exercise ball for comparison. The same moves on two different pieces of equipment can change up the difficulty level exponentially and give variety.

It’s very weird to me how much I actually enjoy working out and going to the gym now, though I am very much looking forward to it getting warm so Dad and I can resume our weekly hiking outdoors.

 

9 months Post-op!

Last week I had my 9 month post-op appointment. In the 3 months since my last appointment I’m down 13 lbs, which my surgeon’s nurse practitioner seemed pleased with. I’m still loosing slowly but surely. That puts me down to 170 lbs, just 2 lbs shy of my goal of 100lbs loss.

It seems each post-op appointment I have I’m just shy of my self-appointed goals. 3 month appointment I wanted to be under 200. I was at just at 200. 6 month appointment I wanted to be at 180. I was at 183. 9 month I wanted to be at 168. I was at 170. So close! Oh well. As my mom has always said: Close only counts with horse shoes and hand grenades.

The above comparison photos my 6 month pic was taken a bit late. My 1 month preop pic reminds me of this meme though 🙂 fb_img_1515449635878-36676698.jpgNo wonder my back always hurt!

I had my second session for my celebration tattoo! It’ll need a few touchups once it’s completely healed though. I absolutely love it! It came out so good. Lindsey over at Studio 85 is soooo talented! img_20180118_2148041652883351.jpg

Last month there was a health fair put on by my work and a local specialty grocery store. In addition to a bunch of health food samples, they also had various health screenings and demos of yoga and zumba. Dad and I participated in the yoga demo, doing it for the first time. We both really enjoyed it and will probably do it again in the near future! fb_img_15164771171031616409930.jpgI was a lot more flexible than I thought, able to get into positions that the belly and boobs would have prevented before. Dad had a bit of an issue with his balance but kept on trying and didn’t give up.

We both aced the lung capacity screening. We both were a smidge high on the blood sugar screening but we had been snacking our way through the health food booths so that wasn’t too surprising. Dad’s cholesterol screening was normal range and mine was so low that it didn’t even register on the machine, which is good. And both of our blood pressures were on the higher side of normal but they were taken after the yoga, walking around, and in a very warm, crowded room so not very surprised at that either.

A couple of other Non-scale victories have happened recently related to my flexibility. I found that I’m able to sit cross-legged in a desk chair and that I’m able to comfortably cross my legs while in a restaurant booth! Didn’t even realize I was doing either of them till a few minutes had gone by.

This past weekend I had a very much needed girls weekend with some friends. We’ve all been friends since elementary school. We hung out, drank, ate, pampered ourselves, saw Fifty Shades Freed. It was a very nice weekend, very fun! I discovered that I’m much more of a light weight than I used to be once upon a time. I also had to pay more attention to drinking and snacking. They kind of go hand-in-hand and I can’t do that anymore. All in all I only mini-dumped (flushed, overheated, sweaty) maybe twice, which really isn’t that bad considering all that I ate and drank.

I also recently dyed my hair again if you can’t tell from the pictures 🙂 It’s bright purple this time with darker purple roots. Life is too short to not have fun hair!

 

 

 

 

 

Flex with me!

Last Thursday Dad had his 9 month postop appointment. He’s officially down 75 lbs, 12 lbs since his last appointment at 6 months. He’s not too happy about the number, wanting it to be bigger. In my book though a loss is a loss. It’s more than he would have lost before this process. My 9 month appointment isn’t until January 31st.

We’ve officially registered for the Mercy Mini Heart Marathon 5K walk. There’s a team developing from my work and we’re walking with them. This is the 5K Dad actually requested we join. We’re doing the Couch25K app program to prepare for it, and to prepare for the Flying Pig in the spring. The day before the walk there’s a whole health fair/expo at the convention center downtown that looks like it’ll be fun too. If you feel so inclined to donate to our fundraising efforts the links to our pages are below:

Mine:

http://www2.heart.org/site/TR?fr_id=3297&pg=personal&px=8898565

Dad’s:

http://www2.heart.org/site/TR?fr_id=3297&pg=personal&px=8898600&s_hasSecureSession=true

The American Heart Association uses the walk, marathon, and expo to raise money for heart health and stroke research. Many of you know that my mom suffered a major debilitating stroke over 5 years ago. We’re walking in her name 🙂

On a happier note of sorts, my wedding ring doesn’t fit! Truthfully it hasn’t fit in over 6 years. I stopped wearing it when I was pregnant with the girls. My fingers swelled like sausages and I weirdly started reacting to the metal of the rings themselves. After I had the girls and was no longer swollen I then became too fat to wear them, so I just didn’t. 3 years ago I had a ring tattoo done that mirrored the shapes and sapphire in my engagement ring. I missed wearing them but was too cheap to get them resized, plus I was ever hopeful that I’d lose the weight and they’d fit again. Well the other day on a whim I put them on and now they’re too big! With very minimal hand flapping they slide right off!

Also note the brand new Fitbit Flex2 my left wrist is now sporting. My loving husband gave it to me for the holidays. It’s weird feeling to have something on my wrist again. I haven’t worn a watch for the same amount of time as my rings. Now I have this thing on my wrist that I’m supposed to only take off to charge every 5 days. It’s waterproof so I can even shower with it on if I so choose. It tracks my sleep and everything! If you want to friend me on there we can challenge each other. Flex with me! 🙂

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Merry Christmas!

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Merry Christmas from my family to yours! Dad and I rocked the themed sweaters this year.

I kind of felt like I was dressed up in a costume as my mom. I even was wearing some of her old jewelry to add to the feeling.

Looking back at old photos I’m still astounded at how big Dad and I were in comparison to now. When I was that big, it felt completely normal to me, completely fine. There wasn’t anything wrong. Yeah I couldn’t really keep up with my kids, but who could? They have never ending energy! I was in such denial really. I love what my tool has given to me. That’s the true Christmas gift. Just yesterday I was rolling around on the floor with my girls practicing and teaching them gymnastics. I wasn’t winded, hurting, or self conscious at all! Here’s a comparison from last year to this year:

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Christmas eve I wore some kick-ass leggings that I’ve fallen in love with:

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Aren’t those awesome?! I got them 75% at Joann Fabrics of all places. Only $5! They’re super soft too. I love being able to buy clothes wherever and not having to worry about if they’ll be big enough for me.

To add to that love, I recently discovered that I could fit into the “normal” sized lead aprons at work. In the past I’d always had to hunt down one of the two aprons intended for those of the fluffier persuasion. Often times I wouldn’t be able to find them or they’d be in use. At those times I’d have to resort to wearing a normal one and tying the straps in the back since they wouldn’t fit around me to Velcro in the front like intended. Now not only do I fit in the normal lead, but I fit in the two piece lead! This is huge. Not only are they more comfortable but they’re easier on the back if you have to wear them the whole day. Yay non-scale victories!

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Happy Chrismakkah!

Happy Chrismakkah and Happy Birthday to me! We actually celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas in our house, hence Chrismakkah. The girls basically have none stop gifts and parties from Halloween through New Year’s: Halloween, their birthday, Thanksgiving, my birthday, Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year’s. It’s a never ending party up in the Greenberg house!

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Saturday was my Dad’s company Christmas party. I was his date per usual since Mom’s no longer able. I talked him into wearing an awesome ugly Christmas sweater. He was adorable. I was going to get an ugly sweater dress but couldn’t decide on one so I ended up just borrowing a Christmas-esque dress from a friend. My necklace lit up and blinked though, so there was that. Below are some comparison photos from last year’s party and this year. At last year’s party we were on month 2 of the 6 month preop diet. I think we’d both maybe lost 5 pounds at that point? We look just a tad different.

There was an open bar at the party. I learned I couldn’t get my usual! I usually get a Dirty Shirley, basically an alcoholic Shirley Temple. Sprite, grenadine, cherries, and vodka. It’s the sprite that got me, the carbonation. I hadn’t really thought about that before. No worries though. I figured out an alternative 😉 I also talked Dad into doing a shot of Fireball with me! He hasn’t drank hard liquor in probably 30 years or more. His reaction was hilarious! I think I’ve also managed to talked him into getting a tattoo with me for father’s day/our 1 year surgeriversary next year.

Last Monday was my 33rd birthday. My husband and I both took a stay-cation for the week, though I did work Monday to cover for a coworker. It was a really nice week and a very much needed break. I also had to get a new driver’s license this year.

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This was the first time, ever, that I put my actual weight on my license. When I got my original at 16 I lied even then. I have had 130lbs listed for my entire driving career. This year I put my actual current weight and felt really proud of that fact!

While at work on Monday I had a bittersweet victory moment. A surgeon that I haven’t worked with in a really long time didn’t recognize me! He then ruined the victorious moment by telling me that I cheated by getting the surgery when I explained how I’ve lost the weight. -_-  Gee, thanks Doctor…. -_-

Tuesday I had my tattoo as planned 🙂 I was there for a total of 8 hours, with 6.5 hours of it being active tattooing time. The longest I’ve even been under the needle for a tattoo was maybe an hour, if that. This by far tested my endurance and pain tolerance. I would have been happy stopping at 5 hours and calling it a day. The last 30-45 minutes I literally couldn’t hold still. My leg was twitching all over the place. My face was buried in a pillow and I was saying some not nice words. The husband came and hung out with me for a good 4 hours. Entertained me and the tattoo artist. Helped make small talk since I suck at it. Even got me food at a nearby restaurant and brought it back for me. He’s awesome 🙂

After we stopped for the day/night I then was “forced” to stand for what felt like endless pictures. Lindsey, the tattoo artist, is a self admitted obsessive picture taker. I can relate 🙂 She was trying really hard to get the colors and details to come out in a picture to post on the shop’s website at some point. After laying so long my left hip surprisingly was really sore. Lack of padding combined with a not so comfy bed/chair/bed thing equaled a left sore hip for almost 2 days.  While waiting for Lindsey to get the perfect picture I actually got pretty light headed and had to sit down. Hadn’t felt like that in a really long time. I think all my adrenaline was spent, plus limited food/drink and getting up too fast. I have to go back in January for her to finish up the tattoo. I still have 2-3 hours worth of coloring to do on it. I learned from this experience to ask for more breaks next time for sure.

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I love how it turned out! At our next session she’s going to color in the kimono, umbrella, and background. My pictures aren’t as good as the ones she took. When she eventually posts them I’ll repost them here. If you’re ever in need of an awesome tattoo artist you need to go to Studio 85, specifically Lindsey. All of the artists there are super talented though, so you’d be in good hands with any of them. (https://www.studio85tattoo.com/)

The last picture of the above collage is from the next morning. They had put a clear dressing on that was supposed to stay on for 3 days. Unfortunately for my sheets it leaked at some point in the night. All that lovely fluid is just extra ink, sweat, and natural inflammation response that normally would cause my leg to swell if it hadn’t escaped through the now very pretty open wound on my leg.

A week later it’s still sore but nearly as much. Right now I’m dealing with my scrub pants rubbing it. I know, first world problems. I managed to go a whole week without wearing long pants. My legs were very cold when we went out.

Oh! and an adorable thing that happened: my daughters gave me their tooth fairy money towards the tattoo. They usually choose to put it in the tzedakah box (charity) at Sunday school, but they randomly decided they wanted to contribute to my savings money jar. Now they feel they have a bit of ownership in it I think 🙂

 

 

 

 

“Just like a tattoo…”

Next Monday is my 33rd birthday. If you’ve read any number of my previous posts you know I’ve been talking about getting a new tattoo. Well I officially have an appointment Tuesday afternoon/evening to get it done. This way it’ll have time to heal during my stay-cation. The tattoo has 3-fold celebratory reasoning: to celebrate my birthday, to celebrate losing 100 lbs (not quite there though. at 93 lbs right now), and to honor my mom (who loves all things panda and geisha).

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before that I’d like to get a Panda Geisha. It’s a tad more complicated than that though, because I can’t just be easy. I want a maiko, which is an apprentice geisha. They’re characterized by longer obi, longer kimono with longer sleeves, red under-collar, taller okobo (shoes), and red silk in the center of their hair bun. When a geisha graduates, so to speak, she becomes a geiko.

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It is said that geisha inhabit a separate reality which they call the karyūkai or “the flower and willow world”. Before they disappeared, the courtesans were the colorful “flowers” and the geisha the “willows” because of their subtlety, strength, and grace.

Their jobs consist of performing songs, dances, and playing the shamisen or the koto (traditional Japanese instruments) for visitors during feasts. They emulate culture and grace.

World War II brought a huge decline to the geisha arts because most women had to go to factories or other places to work for Japan. The geisha name also lost some status during this time because prostitutes began referring to themselves as “geisha girls” to American military men. Since the war though they’ve gone through a resurgence and modernization.

 

On the obi tail, instead of the normal geometric or flower pattern, I’ve requested a lotus unalome.

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The Unalome is originally a hindu symbol that graphically recalls Shiva´s third eye and it represents wisdom and the path to perfection. The spiral shows the beginning of the path, without knowledge or a given direction, that leads to discovering the world through inevitable errors (the knots along the line, or yak), each being a teaching moment, and finally becoming a straight line leading to enlightenment, often represented by a dot or a circle (the sun).

In the Buddhist tradition, Unalome represents the path each person takes throughout their life. That road can be straight, circular, or winding. It might be filled with anxiety, fear, terror, happiness, or love. This path begins at the center of a spiral, which represents the way we’re trapped in our own weakness, fear, and uncertainty. As the path unfolds, the mind finds clarity, eventually freeing itself from the cycles of suffering. When you learn to see yourself from a more objective standpoint, you’ll realize you’re attached to a web of emotions that cloud your mind. However, since we are merely human beings who tend to commit the same mistakes over and over again, it is not easy to abandon that cycle. That’s what the spiral represents, that inability of letting ourselves go completely. The pursuit of enlightenment is what straightens the line of the spiral. This symbol is a visual metaphor of that journey: the ultimate goal and culmination of our search for awareness. Finally, the dot that appears far away from the rest of the Unalome represents the uncertainty of life. We ignore the final truth. And even if we can’t perceive it, it does exist. This is the ultimate reward life can give us.

The lotus flower symbolizes overcoming adversities towards perfection, thus perfectly integrating the meaning of the Unalome.

The lotus has been a symbol of purity since before the time of the Buddha, and it blooms profusely in Buddhist art and literature. Its roots are in muddy water, but the lotus flower rises above the mud to bloom, clean and fragrant.

The mud nourishing the roots represents our messy human lives. It is within our human experiences and our suffering that we seek to break free and bloom. But while the flower rises above the mud, the roots and stem remain in the mud, where we live our lives. This plant is known to be associated with rebirth. This is a consequence of it supposedly retracting into the water at night, and emerging afresh in the Sun the next day. The breaking of the surface every morning is also suggestive of desire. This leads to it being associated with spiritual enlightenment.

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And finally, why a panda you ask? Because my Mommy loves them. Growing up our house was covered in panda figurines, pictures, blankets, stuffed animals, etc. When she went into the nursing home after her stroke 5 years ago, you seriously don’t even want to know how much panda stuff we had to find a new home for. Also, the panda is kind of my (and hers) spirit animal, or Patronus if you will.

The panda is a powerful spirit animal inspiring tranquil strength and determination. Under its soft and fuzzy appearances, this animal totem brings forth the importance of strong personal boundaries to feel safe and grounded in life. Symbolic of the ability to find a balanced and nurturing path through life, it will encourage those who have it as totem or power animal to integrate different aspects of their personality in an harmonious whole.

The panda is a symbol of gentleness and strength. The general meanings associated with this animal are:

  • Gentle strength
  • Peace
  • Good luck, positive outlook on life
  • Connection with Eastern wisdom

The symbolism of the panda also encompasses personal and spiritual qualities, such as:

  • Integration of polarized aspects of yourself, such as feminine and masculine energies
  • Heart-centered energy, nurturing ability
  • Importance of emotions
  • Calm determination, ability to take time to reach your goals
  • Importance of private space and personal boundaries

This animal is characterized by its very high sensitivity to its surroundings and can quickly become stressed when there is too much movement or noise around. If you identify with the panda totem, you’re likely very aware of your environment and the energies around you.

The totem of the panda has affinities with bear energy. Despite its gentle appearances, it is a strong animal with an unstoppable determination. Like the bear, it provides powerful support for those who need courage and steadiness in their endeavors. Those with the panda totem tend to be able to be firm and gentle at the same time and demonstrate a gentle strength in any circumstance. The wisdom of the panda teaches us to move through life calmly and with determination. You can call this spirit animal to help you maintain a steady pace and direction. In the Eastern culture, this animal is symbol of peace and harmonious resolution of conflict.

So basically, after that very long winded, detailed description of my future tattoo, there’s multiple hidden meanings in it for me. It represents that, like a maiko,  I’m still learning, constantly learning, not only in life but on my weight loss journey. That I’ll hit bumps along the way but with determination I’ll eventually get there. I need to have grace, courage, patience, and perseverance to rise above any obstacles. This is my story of rebirth, into the person I’m becoming. I’m not only changing physically, but mentally as well. Finally, it’s also to honor my mother. At an early age she instilled a love of learning, and a love of reading, in me. She taught me to always want to know more, and gave me the strength and courage to seek it out.

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I won’t see the tattoo artist’s actual design till I physically go to the appointment. She’ll be working on it right up until then. I went in and talked with her last week, told her all my wants and desire, and she measured my leg. After that I just had to leave it in her capable hands to interpret my spew of information overload into something amazing. There’s time built into the appointment if we need to tweak her design at all though.

I’ll, of course, do a post chronically the whole thing. As of right now my loving husband is going to go with me and entertain me/feed me. I could be there upwards of 6 hours, depending on how fast she works. Since there’s going to be a fair amount of detail and color work I fully anticipate being there the whole time. My previous 3 tattoos are just small things that took less than 45 minutes. I’m hoping I can last as long as I need to before tapping out.

 

Run Daddy Run!

 

An amazing thing happened yesterday! Dad ran for the first time in 35+ years! We were doing the track mixed with cardio circuit intervals with our group exercise class. Instead of walking between the cardio exercises he chose to run with me. Then at the end he even suggested we run 1 full lap around without stopping! Truly amazing! Our trainer said we (he) were an inspiration to the newbies in the group that were just starting out exercising.

In the afterglow of his first 5K he’s asked me to do the Mercy Mini-Heart 5K walk with him in March. Add that to the Flying Pig Marathon we were already planning on in May and I think it’s official that we’re starting to like this whole exercise thing.

The Flying Pig has a timer cut-off, even in the 5K. You have to average a 16 minute mile. They can only have the streets downtown closed down for so long. They open them back up behind the runners. If you’re too slow they have you move over to the sidewalk when they open them back up. Not a big deal really. I think that’s what put a fire under his butt though. He’s determined to shave off some of his time to get closer to the 16 minutes. Right now he averages 20-23 minutes a mile.

Thanksgiving and Dad’s first 5K

Happy Belated Thanksgiving to the people of the interwebs!

This was our first Thanksgiving since weight loss surgery last April. I would like to say that I did ok, but that’s not really the case. The day itself was really nice. Family, friends, food. The meal was yummy and I didn’t over indulge, at least not right away. In case you’re curious what a plate for someone with a 5 oz stomach looks like:

img_20171123_174335217412539304.jpg This is on a desert plate. I ate probably 2/3 of this, and I will admit I was very full. We do a potluck every year, with my husband and I hosting. This year I assigned myself the potatoes. If you’re trying to lose weight or have had weight loss surgery you know that carbs are a big no-no. So I decided to experiment and made mashed cauliflower for the first time. I’m not a cook by any means, so of course I went for the easy microwave version. The taste was decent. The texture however reminded me very much of snot. Slimy and just gross. Big nope. It came out of the microwave with a layer of water separated from it. No matter of stirring would combine the separated layers. Maybe it would have been different if I was talented in the kitchen and made it from scratch, but I very much doubt I’ll ever find out unless someone else makes it for me.

Aside from my mashed cauliflower debacle everything tasted very yummy. My fallback came from grazing, specifically on the sweets. My brother was a pastry chef in a past life, so his deserts are always to die for. Add that to my friend making my favorite desert, white chocolate oreo truffles, and I couldn’t resist. Granted it was a lot loss than it was last year, but still significantly more than I probably should have had. For my second dinner later, because I’m actually a hobbit, I even had a piece of my brother’s butter rum apple pie for a meal. It was delicious and I have no real regrets.

Later when I was posting my pictures from the day’s festivities I decided to look back at last year’s photos for some reason. I couldn’t find a single photo of me. Then I realized that I just didn’t recognize myself! In the only photo, it was taken from the side with me not looking at the camera. Totally didn’t even look like me. My body language in the photo was just depressing too. You could tell I wasn’t comfortable or happy. I looked back the year before that too, two years ago that would be. Again only 1 photo of myself and this one was just a selfie. I actively avoided the camera. Compare that to this year where I sought out getting photos with people. I wanted proof I was there. My cousin even remarked that my body language was more confident, that I was brighter. My friend commented that I was more myself again, the Breanne she remembered from years ago when my weight hadn’t yet hampered how I interacted with the world and myself.

I was curious for a comparison photo from last year to this year. I had to go into my girls’ birthday party photos to get it. Their birthday is November 11th. Close enough.

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I seriously don’t remember looking like this. I barely recognize myself. At this point, November 2016, I would have just had my first appointment with the surgeon and nutritionist. The  ball would have just started rolling for the 6 month preop diet and all the prerequisite hoops I had to jump through to get my surgery. I still can’t get over how much I’ve changed.

As I’ve been going through my plus size clothes that are now too big, for me to sell/donate them, I’ve noticed that after a certain size I had no cute clothes. I started dressing primarily in jeans and men’s t-shirts. I didn’t feel cute therefore I didn’t dress cute. I didn’t want the spotlight on me. I didn’t want to be noticed. When I did dress girly, or at least less frumpy, I felt incredibly uncomfortable. Nothing fit well, nothing flattered, and I’d be tugging at myself the entire time.  Now my biggest issue is finding something in my closet that isn’t too big!

The Saturday after Thanksgiving Dad and I walked his first 5K. This was my second. A year ago I never would have predicted that I’d have done one, let alone two, 5Ks. Our goal was just to finish, specifically to have Dad finish without stopping once. We achieved that goal!

We didn’t finish dead last overall, which is good, though we did finish last within our respective age groups. The race benefited a program called Whole Again that provides meals for underprivileged youth. A coworker signed up at the last minute to join us too, though she ran it. She even earned second place in her age group! At the finish line we received our medals for being finishers and a huge cinnamon roll, which I found kind of ironic. It was super yummy though, the 3 bites of it I had. We also got these swanky hoodies as a memento.

 

Now we’re talking about signing up for the Flying Pig marathon in the spring. I need to research if you have to finish in a certain amount of time though. With the hills I think it would be a challenge for Dad, but a good challenge for sure. This track was completely flat in a loop at a local park. The flying pig is through the streets downtown, up and down hills with thousands of people. This time around we beat our weekly walking/hiking times, but I think the challenge of the Flying Pig would slow us down a bit. There’s a while though to work up to it though.

Failed Adulting!

I know I sound like a broken record but I really need to get better at taking of myself. Adulting! I sometimes greatly miss when someone else would be the adult and take care of me.

This past Thursday I didn’t realize until it was nearly time for bed that I had only drank about 8 ounces of water the whole day, outside of my daily protein shake. I’m supposed to average minimum 42 ounces so as to not get totally dehydrated. I very rarely reach that goal unfortunately. I know that when I’m dehydrated I’m much more prone to migraines and yet I still do this to myself. I don’t even think about it and I really need to. I’m also starting to get the occasional dizzy spell from dehydration. Not good, I know.

So of course I woke up Friday with yet another migraine. In addition to my heavenly medication I take when I have one, I also spent the majority of the day force hydrating myself. In the picture my big blue water bottle holds 42 ounces and the pink one holds 32 ounces. By the end of the day I had drank 2 pinks and 1 blue! Goal more than achieved. I literally had an alarm set for 2.5 solid hours on a 10 minute snooze. Every 10 minutes I would “chug”, which amounts to 6 tiny sips for me. That’s all I can drink at a time without feeling uncomfortable. By afternoon, early evening, I was right as rain! Now I just need to get better at doing this everyday without the threat of a migraine literally hanging over my head. img_20171110_1714599141588174163.jpg

Thursday while I was ignoring my body and not drinking I was running errands. After writing the last post about my amazing disappearing boobs I decided I was going to get sized and purchase a properly fitting bra. Not only do I miss my girls being actually boob shaped and in their proper location, but my back has been hurting from lack of adequate support. So I went on an adventure! Somewhat aggravating and depressing adventure, but an adventure nonetheless.

Started at Meijer’s, thinking I’m small enough now that I can buy cheaper bras at a “normal” store. Nope. No idea what my size was so I just tried ones on willy-nilly. Didn’t work out so well.

Since I’m significantly smaller now that I have ever been in my life I thought I’d see if I could fit in Victoria’s Secret now. I go in and get measured since I don’t know what my actual current size is. Reminder that I started this process last year at a 44H. This kind lady measured me at a 38D. Ha! Doubtful but you’re the professional. I put the prescribed size and it was comical. So many rolls everywhere! My cup definitely runneth over, and the side boob, and the back fat. Yeah… So then she went got me a 38DD. Not so much. And with that I sized out of Victoria’s Secret . DD is the biggest cup size they have. Alrighty then… Too big for Victoria’s Secret still.

I then went a few doors down to Torrid. Most of my current bras came either from Torrid or Lane Bryant. At this point I’ve decided that I needed a 36 DDD. The 38 was on it’s tightest rung and since I’m still loosing I wanted one with room to shrink into. Torrid only goes down to a 38. I’m too small for Torrid.

I then go across the street to Lane Bryant. They also only go down to a 38, but could special order a 36 in for me. I’m too small for Lane Bryant store stock. They order a 36DDD in for me. When it came in on Saturday I tried it on and wore it around for a bit. It almost mostly fit correctly. Still have a bit of spillage of saggy skin escaping, enough that I’m self conscious. I’m going to return it. I give up. I’m just going to live in sports bras and older bras that I outgrew while I was gaining weight before. They fit me well enough. Maybe as I lose more I’ll go down even more and can revisit cheaper stores.

After recovering from Friday’s fun migraine induced water-drinking extravaganza, this weekend we celebrated our twin daughters’ 6th birthday.

Saturday afternoon we let them choose what we’d do, any activity. They chose to go ice skating for the first time. I love ice skating. Once upon a time I even took a class so I could learn to be better. I only really can go forward and backward. Nothing fancy. I can’t even stop properly. I just kind of slowly coast to a stop or ram into the wall. But after the class I no longer fall on a regular basis! My girls cannot say the same. We got to the rink about 30 minutes before the close of public skate. There was just enough time to take one lap around the rink with each kid. One sat on the bleachers with my husband while the other skated with me. I cannot even count how many times they both fell, but they both got right back up and kept on trying! They were troopers. We then went to a kid’s arcade for a bit and let them go crazy playing video games.

Sunday, after Sunday school, we had a little mini birthday party with family at my mom’s nursing home. My brother and his awesome fiancé gave them little roller skates, which they then lived in for the next 4 hours. After the party we even went to a local mall that is pretty much abandoned and roller skated around for an hour or so. I even got in on the action. We swung by the house first so I could dig my old skates out of storage so I could join them and teach by example. They fell a fair bit while skating around, but very minimal compared to ice skating.

Something I noticed between the ice skating and roller skating: as long as I can remember, excluding from earlier childhood, my feet would hurt like a mother early on. This time around my feet didn’t hurt at all after an hour of roller skating and 30 minutes of ice skating. The only difference I can really attribute this to is the weight loss. Less weight on the feet and my feet have actually gotten smaller too so the skates probably fit better. A happy discovery 🙂

As the cold weather hits and I’ve had to break out my winter coats I’ve found that they’re comically too big. Sunday after the party my brother noticed this as well and commented. His awesome fiancé then chose to give me the coat literally off her back so I had one that fit properly! Did I say she’s awesome yet? She’s awesome.