What’s up Doc?

So yesterday was my initial consult with the plastic surgeon and it went really well! Well, after getting thoroughly lost by following my GPS blindly when it took me to the wrong place first. I had given myself enough of a time bubble just for that eventuality though, and called them, corrected myself, and got there with only being 2 minutes late. Not too shabby.

When I first got there they had me fill out the requisite paperwork: medical history, insurance info, etc. Then they put me back in a room to talk to the doc. I was the last appointment of the day and was a smidge late so I didn’t have to wait at all. It was very nice. The doc I went to see was Dr Huew Han in Cincinnati, Ohio. His office is very clean. His office staff were very nice and he was incredibly sweet.

We discussed what procedures I was interested in. He took a lovely half nakie picture of me for insurance purposes. Since I’m trying to get the breast reduction covered by insurance it was one of the hoops. Proof of big boobies I guess? I suppose his word isn’t good enough. We went over my lengthy list of questions. I had a fair few and he was very patient with them. Maybe I’ll make a post with all my questions and his answers later. After I felt confident that all my questions were answered, his office manager/ scheduler (not entirely sure on job title) came in with my price estimates. I’m not going to list those. If you’re really interested you can message me and I’ll tell you privately.

She also submitted the breast reduction bit to my insurance. It’ll take 15-20 days to hear back from them. Once we hear from them, then my husband and I will have to decide from there what I’m all actually going to be able to do. If they deny, then I’ll only be able to do the boobs and pay out of pocket. If they approve, then we can tack on the tummy tuck and pay for that bit out of pocket. We shall see.

Either way, I’m not planning on having the surgery/surgeries till the beginning of August. My girls and I have Kings Island passes and I don’t want to take away a whole month of them being able to go with me before the next school year starts while I recover. Plus, school starts August 20th (I think) so if I do beginning of August then they can help me the first week or so while my husband works and then I can also have a week or so of quiet during the day while they’re in school. Plus more time equals more time to save.

One development is that I went into the appointment wanting a C cup, but to potentially get insurance to cover the reduction he has to remove a certain amount of tissue and apparently my breasts are so deflated that to reach that number I may end up with a B cup in the end. I think I’m okay with that. I know my back and neck will be okay with that. It’ll be an adjustment. I haven’t been that small since literally elementary school. But if down the road, I choose to have another child (my husband and I are done) there’s an 80% chance that I’d be able to breastfeed. So yay, functional tiny titties!?

He also said that with the shape of my belly and how mobile my skin/fat is that I’m going to be able to get kick ass results with the tummy tuck. I had gone into the appointment wanting a fleur-de-lis extended tummy tuck, which is an incision going up midline and horizontal. My logical thinking is it would pull everything in and down and cinch me in the most. I’ve never shown my belly off before, for obvious reasons, so a huge scar wouldn’t affect me that much. With his explanation of what he could accomplish with a “normal” extended tummy tuck I agreed that he could realize my vision of what I was thinking without the bigger surgery. He also includes a muscle repair, which is essentially sewing the abdominal muscles back together. They can separate over the years, especially after pregnancy forces them apart (like a giganto twin belly).

After meeting him, and talking with coworkers (I work in the operating room at a different hospital) that work with him that had nothing but glowing reviews of his work and of him personally, I am feeling really really good about choosing him. I know most people go to multiple consults, but I guess I’m a one and done. Now it’s just a waiting game on the insurance to see what the next step is.

My eyes are up here…

This is probably one of the few times you’ll be encouraged to look at a woman’s breasts. I’m going to talk about the reasons behind why I want/need a breast reduction and walk you down my mammary memory lane. Don’t worry, there’s no pictures you couldn’t show your rabbi, at least not yet 😉

At my heaviest I was a 44H. At my thinnest I was 36DDD. I’m now a 36H. Bent over, measuring the “length” of my breasts on the underside is 8in.

I started developing early, starting my period at 9 years old. My breasts weren’t too far behind and I was having to wear a proper bra by age 11.

For as long as I’ve had the breasts I’ve also had migraines. They are not the only cause/trigger of my migraines but the extra weight constantly pulls at my neck and shoulders. They are always tight, sore, and sometimes downright painful. As anyone that has ever tried to give me a massage can attest, my neck and shoulders are nearly impossible to massage loose since they’re so painfully tight. I’m hopeful that once some of the weight is off that it’ll lessen the frequency and/or severity of my migraines by removing ones of the major causes.

Also, on the shoulders I have permanent indents from my bra straps. I’m told that this goes away for many breast reduction patients over time.

Moving south a smidge, my upper back is in near constant pain. The weight of my chest pulls me forward, pulling off my posture and balance, forcing me to try to overcorrect unsuccessfully. I crack my back multiple times a day. I beg my husband to crack my back when I get home for a “deeper” crack than I can do on my own. This pain has gotten consistently worse over the last year or so. Sometimes my back will even “catch” and I am forced to walk like an old lady needing her walker for a bit. At 36 that shouldn’t be happening yet.

Without wearing a proper supportive bra the weight pulling actually hurts the upper part of my chest, but then wearing a bra for the entire day and evening can hurt more because I have to wear an underwire to get proper support. While working out I have to wear an underwire for support and one, possiblity two at times, sports bras to contain. When wearing 2-3 bras while working out still doesn’t keep them from hurting at times from moving too much if I’m jogging or from keeping my back hurting because the weight is still there. Even at my thinnest my breasts were still very large, though flat sans bra.

And finally, aesthetically, I just want to look good. I have a distinct memory of spending the weekend with my grandmother, watching her get dressed in the morning, and being astounded at her breasts. I’m 36 years old. She was 72 at the time. I literally have the exact same breasts she had. I’m not a very vain person. Nearly the opposite in fact. But I’d like to be able to feel my age. I’d like my breasts to face forward. I’d like them to not fall into my armpits when I lie down. I’d like my husband to not accidently roll over on one when I’m laying on my side (it happens and it hurts). I’d like to be able to wear the cute bras. Hell, I’d like to be able to spend less than $60 on a bra and still have it do what I need it to do. Simple things, you know?

And now into my mammary memory lane…

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  9 years old

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  10 years old

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  11 years old

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  12 years old

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  13 years old

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  14 years old

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  16 years old

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  17 years old

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  18 years old

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  19 years old

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  22 years old

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  23 years old

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  25 years old

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  28 years old

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  31 years old

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  32 years old- 2017

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  33 years old

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  34 years old

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  35 years old

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  36 years old (January 2021)

Back from the dead, and my next step….

In a couple of weeks, on April 24th, I’ll be coming up on my 4 year anniversary of my VSG and realized that it’s been close to a year and a half since I’ve done a post. I didn’t do this consciously by any means, but at the same time maybe I was so as to avoid admitting the truth to both myself and to those outside my “covid bubble”.

Following my surgery, through hard work and the help from the surgery itself, I was able to lose 100lbs, for about a day. Then I immediately started gaining. After all that hard work I still didn’t like how my body looked. Sure I felt light years better, but naked I looked like a melted candle. Clothes still didn’t fit right. I still had multiple stomach rolls, which were able to be hidden under high waisted pants for the most part, but naked is another story. If I wanted to wear something form fitting I still had to wear shapewear to hold in the rolls. And my boobs, which have been huge since puberty at 11/12 years old, never really got smaller, just droopier. Without a bra they hung nearly to my belly button, with a bra I still needed to wear a DDD just fit all the tissue.

I went into a depressive state about it, and what do I do like a champ when depressed? You guessed it! I ate my emotions. Combine that with all the stresses of 2020 and I’m now 40 lbs heavier. I’m now at 210 lbs, which is incredibly painful and embarrassing to admit, hence the radio silence.

So I know most people would say that their next step would be to get back on the wagon and hunker down, try to lose the weight again. I’m not saying I’m not going to do that. I have actually been attempting to do that, a bit. The past few months I’ve been doing that Noom app program, unsuccessfully, fluctuating the same 5 lbs up and down. I’ve decided to start with another step first for my emotion and mental health. I also think it’ll help once I start working out again. I’ve decided to get plastic surgery. Specifically, I’ve decided to get a tummy tuck and breast lift/ reduction.

In a perfect world, I’d like to go from my current 36H cup (yes H) to a C. The tummy tuck will smooth out the double belly rolls. I know none of this will make me “skinny”. I’ll never be skinny, even with all the dieting and exercise in the world. I’d just like to look more proportional and be able to function daily without my body getting in my way. If I’m able to run/work out without having to wear 3 sports bras to avoid knocking myself out, if I’m able to go a single day without being painfully aware of feeling my roll pulling at my shirt, then I’ll consider it a success.

I think I have a pretty good case to get the breast reduction covered by insurance, and then use savings and stimulus money for the rest. If not then I might have to prioritize which is more important to me. My husband is totally supportive but this isn’t a cheap endeavor and we don’t have much extra money lying around. If it wasn’t for the stimulus money I wouldn’t even be considering this.

So this coming Monday is my first consultation. I think I’ll be taking you guys along for the ride just like I did for the process for the VCG surgery.